Is there a 12 step program for recovering bar takers?

This headline got me thinking about the idea of recovery. "A ruined life gets back on track" should be my theme song these days, and it got me thinking about what a 12 step program for recovering bar takers might look like.

JM's 12 step list for recovery

1. Admitted that we were powerless over stress and studying — that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to confidence and hope...namely time-off, relaxation, and a shot of Jack Daniels.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of CalBar until the middle of November.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, including the pasty skin, extra pounds, and moldy fridge.

5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our bitchitude and angst.

6. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all, even if it includes sexual favors for significant others who essentially lived as monks during June and July.

7. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Especially when to do so requires some funky kama sutra position, yo.


As you can see, I only made it to number 7. Because hey, I'm on vacation! I didn't have to make a 12 element list for the CalBar, so I'm sure as shooting not making one now. Any ideas on what steps 8 through 12 should be?